As a lawyer specializing in family law and a parenting coach, I’m often faced with a thorny question: is it possible to have a family without a couple?
How can we ensure effective parenthood when the couple is no longer together?
Is there a solution that allows children to benefit from the presence of both parents?
In this article, I’d like to share with you my vision and a few tips for forming a “team of parents”, a concept that could well be the key to a new form of family.
Even if a couple splits up, there’s always a mom and a dad. The idea of a “team of parents” is to maintain this strong parental bond, despite the end of the couple. This team is formed around common goals, with the children at the center of these goals. It’s an approach that requires work, communication and a shared desire to ensure the children’s well-being.
🎯 Tip 1: Clearly define missions and objectives
Just as in a sports team, each parent has a role to play. It’s essential to clearly define these roles and establish common goals. What are the child’s needs? What are the strengths and availability of each parent? These questions can help define “missions” for each parent.
Practical exercise
Organize a “parents’ meeting” where you define your children’s needs (education, activities, health care, emotional support, etc.) and how each parent can meet them. Write down these missions on a shared document, which can be revised regularly.
🗣 Tip 2: Communication is the key to success
Communication is the cornerstone of any effective team. It’s essential for parents to be able to exchange ideas openly and respectfully, even when they disagree. This means putting grudges and unspoken words aside and focusing on the main objective: the children’s well-being.
Practical exercise:
Set up regular “parent talks”. This can be a weekly phone call or a face-to-face meeting, the aim being to discuss the children’s situation, the challenges encountered and the adjustments needed. It can be helpful to plan an agenda for these meetings to ensure that all important topics are covered.
🦋 Tip 3: Adapt and grow together
A team of parents needs to be flexible. Children’s needs change over time, as does each parent’s situation. The team must therefore be able to adapt and evolve in line with these changes. It’s an ongoing process that requires patience and determination.
Practical exercise
Do a “team review” every six months. This can be a longer meeting where you assess how things are going, how the children are growing and changing, and how your own circumstances may have evolved. It’s an opportunity to review everyone’s “missions” and make any necessary adjustments.
These concrete exercises can help strengthen communication and collaboration between parents, which is essential to maintaining an effective parenting team and ensuring the children’s well-being.
In conclusion, the family without the couple is not only possible, it can also be beneficial for children.
The parenting team concept offers a framework for maintaining healthy, effective parenting, even after the couple has ended.
It’s not easy to implement, but with hard work, communication and a shared will, it’s possible to create a strong, united parenting team around the children.
If you feel the need to be guided through this process, or if you would like to benefit from the intervention of a neutral person to facilitate communication, you should know that mediation services are available. As a lawyer specializing in family law and a parenting coach, I offer just this kind of support in my office. Please do not hesitate to contact me for further information.
Nathalie Van den Bossche
Parenting coach
Lawyer specialized in family law
Certified mediator
